so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
Randomize
