YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
They are going to name an STD after you.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
