Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
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