Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
If I had your ass I would rule the world
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Randomize
