If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
Randomize
