So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
Randomize
