what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
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