hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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