they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
Randomize
