She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
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