Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Randomize
