just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
Randomize
