They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
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