Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
porn star boner night. come get it.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
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