...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
Randomize
