Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
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