Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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