If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
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