She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
