I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
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