come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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