can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
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