It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
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