I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
Randomize
