I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
Randomize
