dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize
