i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
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