So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
Randomize
