At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
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