i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
I'm both gender and math confused
Randomize
