I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
Randomize
