There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Randomize
