I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
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