I was high as a kite when I got pulled over by a cop and he asked me for my ID and if I had been smoking weed, I said no and gave him my debit card.
I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Randomize
