you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
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