super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
you mean i was at the winter classic?
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
Randomize
