is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Randomize
