He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
Randomize
