My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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