Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
