speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
Randomize