Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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