There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
Randomize