do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
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