I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Randomize
