she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
I just gift wrapped bread.
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
