I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
Randomize
