her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
