There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
i came on her dog
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
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