Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
Is it because I queefed?
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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