would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
Randomize
