Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
Ladies, if you have recieved this text then you are one of the lucky few friends I have decided to make this proposal to. As you all know, my boyfriend's birthday is in two weeks and I have finally decided on the perfect present. Surprise threesome. Now, there can only be one, this isn't an orgy you know, so I will be rating the ideal candidates on bra size and sluttyness. Experiance will count, references if available. Inbox me your credentials so we can come to a...Satisfying agreement.
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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