hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Randomize
