Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
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