I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
Randomize
