do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
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