The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
