he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
Randomize
