I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Randomize
