You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
Randomize
