Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
You're breaking my sexual little heart
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
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