It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
