thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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