I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
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