Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
