Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
I wish they made helmets for livers.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
I love you. Go after that dick
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
Randomize
