I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize