I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
Randomize
