i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
Randomize
