In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
