Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
Randomize
